The second half of 2016 passed too quickly. It feels as though every year I'm just struggling to write/remember the year correctly, and when I've finally gotten used to it, the year has ended again. Till now I still make the mistake of writing '2015' instead of '2016'. The fact that time will never slow down adds on so much pressure, and this December has got to be my worst month of the year, emotions wise.
Every other day I felt the constant urge to break down and cry, then I pacified myself but the good thoughts dissipated quickly. I had so many doubts about what I really want, on what I am going to pursue. I was highly unmotivated, my life felt stagnant, and nothing was improving, yet the world continues to revolve.
The Christmas holiday had been such a good break because I realised what I really needed was time. Time for myself, and me only. So many nights in December I suffered from insomnia and could only fall asleep after a long time with this unsettling feeling; without having at least a bit of time in the day to do something I like, to even reflect on my thoughts and actions. I felt so disconnected from me. I really admire people who can work without a day of rest or spend all their free time with other people, because I can't and, possibly, can never do that.
x
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